The Ultimate Understanding
by COOKIECHEESEMAN
Summary: Miriel views marriage as a scientific opportunity; this amuses The Vaike. VaikexMiriel.


Author's Notes

I'm not sure if this is another one of those "rated T for a reason" sort of stories, but I think it's worth mentioning now anyway. And by the way, this is in Vaike's POV. It's not easy writing someone who sometimes refers to himself in the third person. (with multiple names! :p)

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The Ultimate Understanding

"There is indubitable knowledge I can glean from marriage, I believe," Miriel says, carefully eyeing the ring on her hand that we bought yesterday. "It will be a magnificent opportunity for experimentation."

"For what? What could you possibly learn?" I ask in amazement. Teach will teach her! Although, that could be what she's getting at. Yeah, that's it! She needs to learn something from Teach! But, what could she not know? She knows basically everything!

"Well, we have established and confirmed that I do indeed... love you," she replies, adjusting the glasses that never seem to stay still on her head, "but there is also a bountiful quantity of information I can learn as your wife. Things I could never learn on my own."

I knew it! The Vaike is never wrong!

"Perfect!" I say, laughing happily at the way things are turning out. "What do you need Teach to tell you?"

"Actually, I suppose that it's things that we cannot learn by mere auditory means or those found in literature, such as instinct. My goal is to achieve the ultimate understanding on certain aspects of marriage."

"The 'ultimate understanding', you say?"

"Yes; things like the significance of marriage, how to adapt to the different living situation, or even simple things like kissing or coitus. You can read about things like that, but until they are experienced yourself, the information is partially subjective."

What the heck is coitus? Perhaps there _are_ things The Vaike must learn too! It's probably something boring that only smart people do.

"Alright, so how do you figure out the ultimate understanding on... let's say kissing?" I question her. "Seems straight-forward to me."

"In reality, I really could have educated myself about kissing on my own," she responds curiously, "but I suppose there's no time like the present. Thank you for calibrating my memory to think of this. I'll find someone to kiss and see what occurs."

"Uh, I'm right here..."

Seemingly forgetting about me, Miriel adjusts her glasses yet again before entering one of the tents in our camp site. A couple of minutes later, a completely red-faced Sumia wobbles out of the tent, followed by a discouraged Miriel.

"This is quite strange," she calls to me. "While I had no ill effect from that kiss; or any effect at all, really; Sumia seems to be in a drunken stupor, almost ready to pass out."

Did she... really just do that...

"Why did you kiss Sumia?" I yell, annoyingly raising my fist. "You're supposed to kiss a man!"

"When making scientific discoveries, one must cover all bases. Don't be asinine; obviously, I was going to kiss a man next. I could be missing something important otherwise. Now, where to find one..."

"Again, I'm right here!"

Don't get me wrong; I love this woman. However, sometimes it's a little frustrating with her!

"Miriel, I need to ask you something," a voice calls, and my good buddy Chrom runs towards us and beside Miriel. "It's something about how tomes work. Robin may need the answer to help plan his next strategy. He can use them, but you know a lot more than he does."

"Alright, I will be delighted to help. However, please permit me to do something first," she replies before kissing him, and he immediately silences himself before blushing slightly. "Thank you. So, what information do you require from me?"

As I grab my forehead and groan at what Miriel has just done, Chrom simply sits and stares for a second before trying to compose himself. "Uh... I seem to have forgotten. I'll come back when I remember again..."

Chrom lifelessly walks beside me back to Robin's tent as Miriel writes some notes of hers into a notebook of sorts. After she finishes writing, I stroll up to her and ask, "so, have you achieved the ultimate understanding on kissing yet?"

Snickering to myself, I watch as Miriel adjusts her glasses for the third time in two minutes before opening her notebook to a certain page. "Well, judging from these two experiments, kissing is, how you would say, overrated. Nothing is accomplished, and the recipient of the kiss receives ill effects while the instigator of the kiss feels nothing. I deem it irrelevant and useless."

Ha! Teach may not know everything, but he knows something that Miriel doesn't!

"You've missed the most important part! You're supposed to kiss the man you love; AKA, The Vaike! It's not supposed to be random guys. And not women either."

"Interesting. You say there's a difference, based on how you view the recipient and how you are associated with them?"

"Of course," I reply, sticking my tongue out. "Why do you think married people do it all the time?"

"Understandable. I will test your theory."

When Miriel leans closer to me and her lips press against mine, I notice her eyes widen considerably before she pulls back, nearly breathless and a light blush on her cheeks. It seems The Vaike has done the impossible; get Miriel to swoon!

Yeah, I rule.

"F-fascinating," she breathes out. "We only made contact for a second, but... it just felt so personal. A sort of selfish pleasure only I could obtain for myself, even though countless other couples do the same all the time. I'm going to have to continue my research..."

Crossing my arms smugly, I say to her, "you understand now? The Vaike can definitely teach you some things! Marriage is also about supporting each other while strengthening bonds, like you said."

"Yes, quite. Now, I have a proposition for you," she starts, composing herself in front of me. Opening her notebook again to begin taking notes again, she continues, "I need to see if this sort of reaction happens in perpetuity, no matter how long the duration or how frequent. Would you be willing to try this for hours on end without letup today, so I can find out if our reactions change? This could be a very interesting discovery I can insert into one of my future scientific papers."

Did she just ask to make out with The Vaike? I guess she doesn't view it as such, but The Vaike does!

"Well, if it's for science..."

"Perfect! We shall commence in a couple of minutes," she replies, and as she writes down some more notes, she resumes, "oh yes. After our marriage ceremony and the celebratory wedding banquet tomorrow night, I'll need to acquire knowledge about coitus. You can help me with that."

Coitus again? Oh, please. I wonder if she's going to force me to do that with her for hours on end as well.

THE END

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Author's Notes

How... romantic? I finally figured out an idea that doesn't spoil anything about FE13. Vaike is hilarious, ("What about The VAIKE?") and Miriel has the most ridiculous vocabulary ever. ("ASININE KNAVE!") They go very well together, actually. I'm sure they will have an interesting future ahead of them! Or at least the first couple of nights.

It was fun taking specific lines from the little blurps of speech that are actually voiced acted. I think there are about three or four altogether here in the story. I made references to their support conversations as well, although briefly.

It wasn't the easiest task writing these two. Vaike referring to himself as Teach or The Vaike made for a few occasions where I had to say "he" or something instead of "I". And the Microsoft Word thesaurus was used a ton for Miriel. It would have taken hours to get her speech perfect!

No guest reviews please! Now that I've written a FE13 story, I can read other people's FE13 stories! Trouble is, I'm not sure what to write now before my next chapter of AGOH. Well, you'll all just have to be surprised!


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